Tired.

She is tired.

She has been suppressing negative feelings for such a long time. She refuses to show her vulnerable sides. Its starting to eat her...

She wants isolation.

To be alone.

To be by herself.

Truth is.

She is scared to believe.

scared of herself.

afraid to get hurt.

afraid to confront what she feels.

into deep

She was into deep before she realized.

she continues to sink.

Something is pulling her down

she doesn't know why but she feels good.

It scares her.

Uncertainty.

she is happy

For some unknown reason..

she is happy and contented.

She does wonder why but would rather enjoy the feeling than overthink..

one day at a time.

one day at a time.

She didn't see it coming... again.

Traumatized by the past events...

She does not know when or where it started.
She's still in shock.
She does not know what to think or feel right now.

She going to the state of limbo...

Open. New Chapter.

The Update.

A lot of things has happened. Some things has to end. New things has to start.

SMB has moved to a new building in RCBC. Anna has also moved on to a different position. She was promoted as SMB QA. Some people will be leaving. Also found a new motivation to keep my stats up to bat. There's also the messy, ugly details of dirty politics that I wouldn't want to think about.

I've found out on how I can print my portfolio. All I need to do is chose the pictures and start it. I would want to write more but I should get back to watching dvds.

Over.

I'm starting to ignore you. I've doubted you so long. I'm tired of overthinking. I know you don't belong...

It's over.

Whatever was your reason behind it. Well I guess I'll never know or I don't think I need to know. It's not gonna change anything anymore.

Choice has been made.

Live and learn

"Live And Learn"
The Cardigans

I came home in the morning
And everything was gone
Oh what have I done
I dropped dead in the hallway
Cursing the dawn
Oh come on sun
Why must I burn
I’m just trying to learn

I stared into the light
To kill some of my pain
It was all in vain
Cause no senses remain
But an ache in my body
And regret on my mind
But I’ll be fine

Cause I live and I learn
Yes I live and I learn
If you live you will learn
I live and I learn

Got kicked in the head
So I started a fight
Cause I knew I was right
But I learned I was wrong
I remember a slaughter
I remember I fought
For the money I brought
I got blistered and burned
And lost what I earned

But I live and I learn
Yes I live and I learn

I got, I got it now
She’s got, She’s got it now

I came to one a corner
With some help from a man and goddamn
I don’t seem to have learned
That a lady in need is guilty indeed
So I paid and got laid in return
And I don’t know what I’ve learned

Well you get what you give
And hell yes I lived
But if you live as you learn
I don’t think I’d be learned
Oh with the sun in my eyes
Surprise, I’m living a life
But I don’t seem to learn
No I don’t think I can learn

Akala.

sabi nga sa kanta ng parokya...

Akala ko alam ko na ang lahat ng dapat kong malaman..
ngunit mali na naman.


*keeshy is wondering when it'll end.

Final Chapter

You never proved me wrong.

Goodluck to your life.

Moving on.

sticky note 01

Hey..

I thought I had you figured out.

but I was wrong.

phew!

I'm relieved though I'm sad.

random thought.

What are we?

Friends who sometimes hold hands perfectly.

-Holding Hands
Contributed by crnr_kyck10

Realize

I'm going through a rough time right now.

I feel so vulnerable. I hate seeing myself right now.

On a positive note.

I just realized that I have good friends.

Thank you guys.

Backtrack

I don't have work today and I decided to take some time to myself.

I read my previous post and a lot has happened since I started working. There were bad times but looking back everything had a purpose and everything turned out to be good.

It was something I need right now a bit of positivity. I had a good time. Didn't part ways the right way but everything ended in a good way.

I guess right now I need to stop, take a step back.

scream then breathe

Yesterday, I found out something.

I just found out that I will be torn away from my comfort zone, my strength and my support.

"let's inject a bit of positivity... it's not final ..YET."

Crap!

I really feel down. I know that I am on the losing end. Worst part is there's nothing that I can do to save myself. I'm really about to breakdown.

I wanna get mad. Let hell break loose but I can't. If I try to I still lose but if I keep quiet they would think it's okay.

I'm overwhelmed by my emotions, repressed anger and resentment. It's hard to contain it. I have been keeping it for a long time.

Can I not be numb? How long do I have to feel the pain until I go numb?

Everything is so dark right now.

Welcome to limbo.

random line of the day

The rain has stopped. So has the beating of my heart for you. And I’m going to sleep now.

from Of Rain and Memories
Contributed by seminarista

I Do

"I Do"
Lisa Loeb

when i'm done with thinking, then i'm done with you.
when i'm done with crying, then i'm done with you.
when i feel so tired, then i'm done with you.
everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -

and i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.

you're trying to convince me that what i've done's not right.
i get so frustrated, i stay up every night.
you ask me for an answer, and i'm so tired and i'm up in the air.
everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -

and i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.
you can't hear it, but i'm feeling this way
just because you say

i will be ignored.
i will be denied.
i could be erased.
i could be brushed aside.
i will get scared, and i will get shoved down,
but i feel like i do beause you push me around.

i'm starting to ignore you, i've doubted you so long.
i'm tired of over-thinking, i know you don't belong.
now i'm asking questions - no one pushes me around.
everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -

and i do.
you can't hear it, but i do.
you don't seem angry, but i do.
i do.

Goodbye To You

Goodbye To You"
Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

Ouch!

My Horoscope for today...

Are you expecting major transformations to happen overnight? It's time to face the fact that it's going to take longer than you thought. Whether you are looking for changes in yourself or in someone else, you have to be more patient and realistic about how quickly things can happen. What used to be simple isn't so simple any more -- there are more people involved, and more feelings that could get hurt. Let things unfold the way they will, and the results will be better.


Ironic. Ain't it? Funny.

another letter

Hey, I don't know how we became close.

I can't explain it. Is it something fate has written down for us?

I remember I despise seeing you as they tell me that you keep looking at me.

For some unknown reason, we had an encounter.

We got to know each other.

There was a risk of being close to you.

Still you kinda got through to me.

I just couldn't tell but I was comfortable with you.

I dunno how you see me.

but I somewhat see myself in you.

I feel we're kindred spirits...

I wish to keep you.

But you made the choice...

Part of me wants to be far from you

but you don't want me to.

so what am i to you?

how do you wanna keep me?

I wish I knew.

I wish I knew.

Say that you don't care - Drop n Harmony

Just when Im feeling like were getting closer
Lady, you turn around and drift apart
And now you got me in a state of confusion
I just dont understand what we are Oh yeah
Tell me girl exactly what it is that youre doing
I know youre feeling my company
But is that all I am to you?
Kicking back with someone new
Is that all that you want...?

Chorus:
Say that you dont care and Ill walk away
Say you dont give a damn and I wont stay
But if you feel the same way that I feel
Girl you gotta show it [show it]
Cause girl I wanna know it.

Ahhh...

Tell me you dont know the situation
Cause girl I know you know whats going on
How we be chillin all day, and making love all night
And still I sense that somethings wrong [wrong]
Maybe theres a part of you thats scared and cautious
Maybe you just dont feel the same
Well whatever it may be
Baby just be straight with me,
What exactly is it you want [want]

[Chorus]

Yeah la da da da da da da Oh Yeah Ahh Whoa

[Chorus]

What is it you're feeling
What is it you're needing
I know you know whats going on
So if you feel the same,
way that I feel
Baby come on break it down
tell me what it is you want

Just tell me, Tell me what you want [yea, yea]
Baby just tell me, Tell me what you want [yea, yea]
Just tell me, Tell me what you want

A letter

Hi,

I would like to inform you that there is no need to thank me at all. First, you added damage to my reputation. I won't be surprised if you think I didn't knew. I always knew that you weren't fond of me. I never showed I did. I was civil and I was nice.

I realized that you are a person whom I should have never trusted. I should have been distant from you and your backstabbing personality. I was never comfortable being open to you about how the way I think. You'd never understand me.

You could thank me all you want but it doesn't have any value. I know who you are and how you are. You could try to apologize and explain yourself but I don't think you can justify your intentions.

Partly, i have to blame myself, I did trust you that you knew. You never did. I was too kind. My bad.

Whatever I did, is my own intention. You didn't influence me or anyone else. Its my decision.

So stop the crap. It won't work anymore.

I already know how you see me.

You're not worth keeping.

Let me be.

Reality Bites

A lot of crazy things has happened lately.

I try to recall everything. My head is spinning. It happened so fast. I was happy.

Just a passerby.

Never ever trust and assume.

Shit happens.

Is it a fault to be kind?

Should have been kinder to other and rude to others.

Realized.

Show's over.

It ends tonight.

and the ramblings goes on and on and on....

Reality Check

Almost convince me
You're gonna stick around
But everybody knows
Almost doesn't count

So maybe I'll be here
Maybe I'll see ya around
That's the way it goes
Almost doesn't count

Reality Check!

A Trip to memory lane

I was browsing my friendster and I saw old testimonials.

In my Life by The Beatles [would sum up on what I'm feeling right now]

There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more

Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
In my life i love you more

Drew Poppelreiter - Check Yes or No

Awww... Drew's so adorable..

Grace Kelly - Josiah Leming

Nice performance by Josiah. Rumors say he didn't make it to the top 24 though. Too Bad.

Random Poem

[000] ROMANCE BE THE COLOUR AQUA
-Frank J. Ryan

Somewhere between emerald 'n topaz is a world of aqua
Coral and rocks that glisten in shining water...like mirrors
Reflecting an aural seascape, that Romance, hasn't seen
Since the theories and legends..........that buried Atlantis

Bermuda makes promise of a fantasy Island.......for lovers
Romance in the shadows of late afternoon........silhouettes
And after the honey and fruits of the island...........be tasted
Lovers bathe in a pleasure of amorous capture......of aqua

Oceans be ever instilled..... with the treasures of Romance
One must feel the thrust of the tide as it surges, and peaks
A force that transforms passion... into soul-binding rapture
Somewhere 'tween here 'n there...the waters breathe majic

***the theme that I got for my multiply as inspired by the poem

How many colors & countries can you name in 5 minutes

43

44

Man, I could have named a lot more if only I didn't blanked out. Hahaha....

Late New Year Post

One day to go and the first month of the year is over. Time sure goes by. I'm starting to feel the boredom at work and I haven't done anything creative since last year. This year I should be able to accomplish the things that I have been wanting to do.

Keeshy's Things to do List.

1. Finish my portfolio.
2. Take pictures for the photobook using my camera phone.
3. Make my theme for the multiply site.
4. Take more pictures. (Practice photography)
5. Draw.

Looks like a short list but there's a lot to do. Hopefully, I get them done this year. (^_^)

Life is Easy - Urbandub

Life is Easy - Urbandub

Check the waves
Crashing down right by the sand
Feel the water go through my empty hands
Cuz today is mine
No troubles in my mind
Out this cynical world
Today we ride the waves

Riding on the curl
Straight into the shore
Take it easy, take it easy
Under the sun
Having fun cuz life is easy
Life is easy

I don’t really care what people say
Cuz they really don’t know me anyway
Cuz today is mine
No troubles in my mind
Out this cynical world
Today we rule the waves
My mind is free today
The tides they center my soul
Time and time and time and time again

Life is easy

Into Yesterday - Sugar Ray

"Into Yesterday"

The sky turns to a diffrent shade of blue
After the rain
My mind turns to a diffrent point of view
After the rain
Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my my
Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my my
Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my my
I know...

Like the ocean needs the moon to take the tides away (aaahhh)
All we need is a little time to chase the blues away
Sun is out and it feels like its (aaahhh) always the same (aaahhh)
Let this last forever turn tomorrow into yesterday

Now all those clouds have nothing left to do
After the rain
And all those doubts have drifted out of you
After the rain

Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my my
Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my my
Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my my
I know...

Like the ocean needs the moon to take the tides away (aahhh)
All we need is a little time to chase the blues away
Sun is out and it feels like its(aahhh) always the same (aahhh)
Let this last forever turn tomorrow into yesterday

La, De, De, La, De, Da, La, De, Da, La, Da, Da
And no body say so, Ohh no
mmm I say..
La, De, De, La, De, Da, La, De, Da, La, Da, Da
And no body say so, Ohh no..

Like the ocean needs the moon to take the tides away (aahhh)
All we need is a little time to chase the blues away
Sun is out and it feels like its always gunna stay
Let this last forever turn tomorrow into yesterday

Ahhhhh
Ahhhhh
Into yesterday..
Ahhhhh
Ahhhhh

I'm 30%GIRLY, 70%BOYISH, 20%NERDY, 50%CHILDISH

Girly
[x] I love at least one shade of pink.
[ ]I don't like being messy.
[ ] belongings are organized.
[ ] I don't like rock music.
[ ] i like wearing accessories.
[x] Bright colors amaze me.
[ ] I hate black.
[ ] I go to the salon once a week.
[ ] I comb my hair almost all the time.
[x]I bring my phone with me
everywhere.

add up all your marks and multiply it
by 10.
= 20%

Boyish .
[ ] I wear baggy pants.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I listen to boy bands like My
Chemical Romance, Yellowcard,
Switch foot, etc.
[x] I like wearing jackets with hoods.
[x] I'm too lazy to do chores.
[ ] I don't like shopping.
[x] I like to go bungee jumping.
[ ] I like being sweaty.
[x] I'm a big fan of marvel heroes.
[x] I barely wear perfume.

add up all your marks and multiply it
by 10.
=70%

Nerdy
[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket.
[ ] I enjoy studying.
[x] I wear glasses
[ ] I've never skipped any class in my
whole life.
[ ] I like my shirt tucked in.
[ ] My favorite subject is science.
[x] I enjoy reading books.
[ ] My assignments are passed up on
time.
[ ] I correct people with their
grammar.

add up all your marks and multiply it
by 10.
= 20%

Emo
[ ] I love the color black.
[ ] I always sit at the corner.
[ ] One side of my hair is covering
one of my eyes.
[ ] I like listening to metal rock
music.
[ ] I have a lot of problems in my
life.
[ ] I'm not much of a loud person.
[ ] I don't talk much.
[ ] I don't have that much friends.
[ ] i barely have fun.
[ ] I barely go out with my folks or
friends.
add up all your marks and multiply it
by 10.
=a

Childish
[x] I am open to my parents.
[x] I sleep with a stuff toy.
[x] I watch cartoons.
[ ] I don't like watching horror
movies.
[ ] I sleep with a night light.
[ ] My parents are the ones who
choose my outfit.
[ ] I'm scared of roller coasters.
[x] I like being with my family
relatives.
[x] I take bubble baths.
[ ]I've ran around the house in my
underwear.

add up all your marks and multiply it
by 10.
=50%

***interesting (^_^)