Jaded

I wanna get out...
I wanna shout...
I wanna fly...

Lately, I've been feeling lost. I feel detached. I feel that I'm invisible. I don't really know when it started and what the cause is. I just feel that there is a hole inside me. There are a lot of things that I try to ignore and hold back. Questions are popping in my mind not knowing why. Sometimes I feel that I am being paranoid or maybe I'm looking for something..

Am I bored?

I don't really know but I feel I need change...

hmm...interesting

The Bottom Line

Build your intuitive senses by believing in yourself -- your gut won't let you down.

In Detail

An argument so ancient that you really can't remember the exact cause may be keeping you away from a loved one. Since neither of you seems willing to admit even partial responsibility for the initial event -- whatever it was -- the dispute could go down in the Guinness World Book as the most ridiculous argument that was never solved by two people who might otherwise have been friends forever. How about losing that infamous record in favor of thinking about all the good times?

I opened my firendster and read my horoscope. For some freaky reason, it seems to be applicable of what is happening to me. I never believed in horoscopes but I do read it for fun. Now here's the sitch...

There is this certain person that for some unknown reason I feel that he is isolating me from the group everytime the friends get together. I think he feels awkward when I'm there. Sometimes I feel that he doesn't want me to be there. He acts like I'm not there though there are times that he knows that I'm there and recognizes my presence. Truth of the matter, I kinda think that it's lame and gay for a guy to act that way. I don't think it's healthy for the group so I'm kinda paying less attention to him. Sort of the same way what he does...

Question? Why?

Let's take a back track few months, around July. He's new. He's was nice and he was the first one who talked to me. He always inviting us to the endshift gimiks. I thought. Hey, what a nice guy, friendly. We got close, He got sweet but I wasn't thinkin bout anything coz I know all the girls he likes. The guys always tease us but I never believed him. I'd rather be friends with him than something else. Then he made progress with his so-called business , I knew the sweetness would stop. I never changed how I was with him but he seemed awkward and he ws trying to ignore me, which made me think. What the???? Right...

Anyway, I could stipulate a lot of reasons but I think I can never ask why. Like they say there are some things never meant to be spoken of. I guess this one is included...

text messages

Ever since Globe had the text non stop promo. I have been getting a lot of messages from friends.

From Vhin

God
loves
You
so much
that
He

Turns
His
ears
to You
constantly
He
always
answers
Your requests
maybe
not
w/
a YEs
but

Always

w/
what
is best!

When I got that message I remembered one of the topics that we had debated over beer with my team mates not that I drink or anything. Well, I remembered that one team mate said that one topic that wouldn't have an end during debates will be religion and so he said that we should start.

It's funny because everytime a topic is opened. There are times that everyone would talk at the same time trying to point something out. Then they will team up and split again and team up with a diffrent person. I remembered during that time that they were talking bout how intelligent God is because even if they were doing something not right like their vices. They manage to remember and talk and appreciate God.

-----------------
God is good....

Just a Phase

I went on endshift again. Of course, I was able to get one since I have the highest cpt. I can admit that I am disappointed with my performance. After my day off, I am planning to try to lower it down without sacrificing my QA. I don't really know what's wrong with me. Ever since I started concentrating on my QA I've been slower than before. I feel bad because I know that my mentor expects a lot from me just because he knows that I can. I know I can. I have to do something about it and I know I can do something about it. Aja!!

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Past events..

Saturday//We went on endshift because we (actually they) were supposed to go to Jayga's place to drink Tequilla which Chin brought but Jayga said that we can crash her place. Since we didn't know where to crash we were planning to stay until we were able to go home.Richmond was planning to go to DG but Jello said it's better to go to Watering Hole. So we went there instead. We saw Jed and decided to take him along. They made my drink one bottle but I wasn't feeling it so I gave the rest of the drink to Marbin.

It was very amusing to see those boys debate about how they are "sex experts". They talk as if they really know how to please a woman which according to Chin, They didn't. I agree. But I won't discuss the details here.

We did had a good time because it's gonna be team shift bid. Second, Marbin was adding more words to his Marbsters Dictionary which Jello constantly reminds us. After the laughs and the drinks we decided to eat breakfast but I didn't since I really wanted to go home and I didn't like the menu. I arrived at home at arounf 10am and slept at 12.

Friday//We found out that it's gonna be team shift bid so everyone was happy about it. IT was the day when the VTO list was full. Everyone wants to go endshift but we were given the most waited endshift 15 mins before the time. Hehe.. It was almost nosebleed for us. haha.. OVertime.. btw, we had pizza from the company since we were celebrating the Customer Service week but everyone didn't get a chance to eat pizza because of some other inconsiderated people...

long time....

I'm at Figaro in ATC Alabang right now...

It's been a long time since I was able to use the internet for longer than 10 minutes. I haven't had the time to access the computer at home since my brother is doing his thesis and my Dad is also doing his research paper.

A lot has happened since my last blog... Updates about it will be following when I get to remember the details... again. Right now, I'm in relax mode, just chillin and my thoughts are scattered right now.